Hallow~ Its been a while again yaww. HAHHA. Some bloggers love to update their blogs more frequently or everyday. But me as a graphic design student cant afford to do that. Usually I will post something or anything going on in my mind in my blog. But now that I got a friend to tell anything without being judge makes me feel better and eventually forgotting bout my lovely blog. I miss it. Now Im in my sem break. Life is great after I met Kyrel. Hes great. Hes always there(calls and giving support) and thanks for being understanding. Love him. He makes me smile. We seldom fight. Even if we fight, we'll just end up calling each other names. HAHA. How dare he called me fat. Shit head boyfriend I got there eh. Can I consider myself lucky? Most definitely. Hes a guy I can joke with and tell anything. In the end he will be honest and ask me for opinions or support me. Usually he uses foul words to make me feel happy.
He will makes fun of me, mock me and then its time for revenge. Yep, revenge is sweet motherfuckas! He usually will laugh at my mocks. Hhahaha. Learnt from the best honey. Yeah all this happiness of friends, boyfriend and fun makes me selfish and forgot bout my family. A family member that always there for me. Sorry akak. I realy am. I always feels bad whenever I made u mad, worry or treat you like shit. Im sorry. I am a selfish person. I will change. And I will always tells u whereever I go or whatever the hell Im doing. I have not been honest with you cuz I was afraid you might scold me or judge me or anything. The thing I hate the most is being judge by my family members. I always have those feelings since I was young. Maybe its because of my evil siblings who always bullies me. LOL. But its true. I feel insecurities when it comes to my family.
Mainly its because they are succesfull. I mean, my sis is an engineer, bro is an accountant while my younger sister is into law. And Im in graphic design. Art is what I love. But compare to them, Im nothing. I feel nothing. I feel like Im not realy a part of them. I feel isolated. Im not good at math, while they do. Im not smart, but they are. All I have is my art. But I had to work for it. Its not talent. But skills I learnt myself and some from the academy or private tuition. But I had to work for it. I was proud with my potraits but when my twin started drawing them, she was better. I felt threatend. So thats why I tend to ignore them cuz I think they belittled me a bit. I know they care and worried but insted I chose to ignore. Stupid move man. Really stupid. I love you guys and Im sorry. Especially to akk. Sorry akk. I really am. And I love you. :)
