Lately, after I went into university, I havent been myself. A part of me that is wild appeared out of no where. I became wild, uncontrolable and a selfish person. All I care was fun fun fun anf fun. Thats all. What is happening to me. Before this I even swore once I enter Uni I'll be an active cosplayer. But that didnt happened. Tho I had lots of chances, I didnt do it. Cuz all I think was fun. Now lots of people know me. And surely not in a good way. I hate it. I need to change. Being a boring, lame otaku is much nicer than being this wild rebel child I am now. I've spent thousands on my cosplay stuff but when did I ever use them? Where did my dreams went? Where?
I remembered saying that I'll be one of the most known cosplayer in Malaysia. That was my dream. But where did it go? Lately I've been thinking it was waste of time and lame and all. All because I want to look mature. Well. surely that didnt go well. It didnt. It became worst. I dont want people
to know me. Its annoying and I cant roam freely without people knowing. What, I cant even hangout with certain people without people thinking Im doing nasty stuff? Urghh. I want to get out of that place! I want to start a new. I want to change. Im in the process of changing. Please Allah, help this servant of yours to change. Give me the strength to change. Im a stubborn person. I need help. Help me change for YOU and not anybody else. Help me change to help me be a better person. Give me instinct and courage to say no.
One day, I will completely change. I will be a better person. I will be a better Muslim. All my knowledge of Islam is a waste without me following it. Its no use telling people bout it without me doing it. I need more courage and strenght. My sis said, people like me are tested harder than a normal person. I know. I know that. May Allah help me go through this big change. InsyaAllah I can change. InsyaAllah I can be a true muslim. With the help of Allah, insyaAllah, One day.
